These are funny things I've heard people say. Maybe some times very "local" humor. But you might like it too... =)

PICASSO

Q: Is that a real Picasso hanging over there?

A: No it's a painting.

DO NOT SIT...

Do not sit on a chair you are painting.

TWO THINGS AT A TIME

Some times it's hard doing two things at a time. Like chewing gum and walking on a wire...